Chapter Text
Gyuvin stares at the three of them like a deer caught in the headlights. Him and Ricky accidentally make eye contact and Ricky is confused to find that Gyuvin is the first to look away, unable to hold his gaze. His eyes trail up from the floor, then to the cupboards, then to the ceiling, before trying and failing miserably, to stare down Taerae.
Taerae is normally sweet as a peach, and just as juicy but there is unmistakable judgement in his eyes.
Jiwoong’s focus also flits to Ricky, examining the emotions on his face.
“I-I’m straight ‘cos I’m only gay for Ricky,” Gyuvin says, but it comes out very nervous-sounding. “Haha?”
Taerae clucks his tongue and makes a disbelieving noise.
“How are you still in the closet when you have a boyfriend?”
“I’m Rickysexual,” Gyuvin tries again, cowering under the combined force of Taerae, Jiwoong and Ricky’s judging stares. His eyes find Ricky’s in a panic, for once at a loss for words. It’s funny, because Gyuvin barely ever stops talking. He’s a yapper but he’s not smooth. That’s Gunwook.
“Save me,” Gyuvin mouths to Ricky, withering even further as Taerae’s derision increases.
A beat or two pass as Ricky processes everything. As usual, he’s a second behind.
“Don’t bully him too much, hyungs,” Ricky wraps his arms around Gyuvin in a dramatic improvisation. “He’s still figuring it all out. He’s a baby gay. I’m the first dude he’s ever liked.”
“You never mentioned that,” Jiwoong says, disbelief clouding his voice. “It seems like an important detail to miss out-”
“Ricky’s right,” Gyuvin says, as if confessing. It sounds oddly sincere. “Ricky’s the only guy I’ve ever had eyes for. I’ve never been attracted to any other guy since before or after meeting Ricky.”
Now it’s Ricky’s turn to gawp at him. It’s a crazy thing to say. He can feel the blood rushing to his cheeks as his heartbeat ramps up.
“You can’t just-just say stuff like that!” Ricky cries, taking a step back from Gyuvin in shock. His chest squeezes like someone’s using his heart as a stress ball and they’re very, very stressed. “My heart!”
That’s right, play it off as a joke. He adds just enough screech to his voice for it to be funny, rather than incredibly panicked.
“That’s actually kind of crazy,” Taerae acknowledges with admiration, his eyebrows descending form the heights of his forehead to their original position. “No one? No one else?”
“Surely there must be a single celebrity,” Jiwoong presses on. “Aren’t you a fan of that San dude from Atee*z?”
Gyuvin shakes his head. His cheeks are blotchy red too, but whether with embarrassment or with the same panic Ricky has is uncertain.
“He’s cool. He’s hot,” Gyuvin agrees. “But I’m not attracted to him the way I am for Ricky.”
At these words, they lock gazes. It’s the way Gyuvin says it slowly, yet with conviction that makes the hairs on the back of Ricky’s neck prickle. Arousal hits Ricky so fiercely that it feels as if he’s jumped off a ten-metre platform and smacked into the water at terminal velocity. f*ck this baking. Whatever the f*ck they’re making. He wants Gyuvin, right now, right here, right this damn second.
Ricky descends into such a carnivorous frenzy that he only wakes up when Gyuvin grabs him by the wrists, stopping him in his tracks. Ricky instinctively tries to rip his hands out of Gyuvin’s grip, but Gyuvin holds firm. Ricky does not budge an inch, still stuck in his fake boyfriend’s hold.
He’s suddenly nose to nose with Gyuvin, hands on his shoulders.
Jiwoong is watching them with a fascinated horror.
“There was nothing straight about that,” he comments. “I think I need my eyes bleached,”
“I don’t think Ricky knew that he was Gyuvin’s gay sexual awakening till now,” Taerae agrees in disbelief.
“Literally nothing happened!” Gyuvin yelps, looking worriedly at Ricky. His eyes say ‘you good, bro?’.
“Only because you stopped him,” Taerae says snidely. “He was about to devour you whole.”
Oh yeah. Ricky’s not even in his own house. He’s not even in a bedroom. He is in his friend’s kitchen.
“Hum-hum,” Ricky says, clearing his throat, which has gone strangely dry and crackly. “Jiwoong-hyung, could you finish off the macarons?”
“The hell, Ricky?” Gyuvin hisses, fingers tightening even more around Ricky’s wrists. It has no effect, except to make Ricky extra f*cking horny. Ricky has frankly, never been so horny his entire life. He’s never wanted to jump someone’s bones so badly, to the point that he is literally more than willing to flake on his friends in order to just be alone with Gyuvin so they can do something – something he’s not even sure of, not even sure of what Gyuvin wants-
It’s like he’s a cat in heat, wanting to hump whatever is nearest him. Which is Gyuvin, in this scenario.
“Those are some powerful hormones,” Taerae mutters to himself. “Jiwoong-hyung, why don’t you and me finish the macarons?”
He bats his eyelashes beseechingly, sidling up to Jiwoong in another very not straight display.
“I want to do more than just stand on the sidelines,” Taerae says. “And look at them. They’re about to stick their tongues down each other’s throats.”
He turns his signature f*ck-my-hole eyes on Jiwoong, who looks like he’s also forgetting about the macarons.
“We need to bake them first,” Jiwoong says weakly. “Or all that aeration will go to waste. Then we can. Yeah.”
“Sounds good to me.” Taerae now looks incredibly smug and sidles away from Jiwoong, then picks up the piping bag of mango macaron that now lies abandoned on the counter. “Oi! Newlyweds! Don’t f*ck in my house!”
“We’re not!” Gyuvin shrieks, utterly scandalised, but it’s enough of a cue for Ricky to gather his things and to start tugging Gyuvin out the kitchen, towards the front door. “I swear we’re not!”
“Young love is so beautiful,” Jiwoong’s voice rings from the kitchen. “Enjoy it while you can!”
By now, Ricky has got his coat and shoes on and his bag in his hands. It’s only a twenty-minute walk back to their flat but he’s called a taxi, which will arrive in five minutes.
“Gyuvin, hurry up!” Ricky whines. He’s going to kiss him. He’s actually going to kiss him so hard.
“Ricky, the f*ck is going on?”
“We can talk at home,” Ricky gabbles, already trying to open the front door. His head is dizzy.
As soon as the door slams, Ricky finds himself tugging Gyuvin into a death grip, nuzzling his face into Gyuvin’s neck as if he’s trying to burrow inside it. He just needs to touch him. It occurs to him dimly that Gyuvin was probably making all of this up to save their dating claim.
Gyuvin’s clearly taken aback, but he still hugs Ricky back, one hand gently cupping the back of his neck, fingers threading through strands of his hair, and other settling on his waist
“Maybe it would be better to talk now,” Gyuvin says. “Is it about earlier?”
Ricky looks up sharply. He can hear the taxi approaching them down the road.
It might be unfair of Ricky, especially if Gyuvin is genuinely confessing Ricky is his sexual awakening, but Ricky doesn’t care anymore. The furrow of Gyuvin’s worried brows as he lifts Ricky’s chin to look at his face closer drowns out any semblance of reason. All he can focus on is the blood pounding in his ears, pressure mounting in his head.
It might be unfair, but Ricky gives Gyuvin his best bedroom eyes. He knows he’s hot as f*ck. And that some part of Gyuvin knows that. Eyes half-open, mouth slightly open, lips pouted outwards.
“Home first,” Ricky insists, in barely more than a whisper.
Gyuvin’s eyes widen, and he exhales shakily.
“Yeah,” he says. “OK.”
He spends the entire taxi journey leaning on Gyuvin, stretching the seatbelt till he’s almost lying on his lap. He wonders what Gyuvin thinks about this. There are lines that can be crossed and then there’s this.
Gyuvin types in the security code and they rush into the elevator, watching the numbers change until there’s a ping. Ricky unlocks the door and they at least have the presence of mind to speedwalk into Gyuvin’s room and shut the door before Ricky pounces on him.
Ricky did say he was going to kiss him. Right on those chapped lips that need lip balm. It’s whatever, Ricky has moist lips. It’ll balance out.
Gyuvin makes a choking noise as Ricky closes the distance, teeth scraping over Gyuvin’s bottom lip. Then he’s kissing Ricky back, just as forcefully as Ricky was. There’s a staggered waltz as they step backwards towards the bed, until Gyuvin falls back first, Ricky clambering on top of him.
Now, he really isn’t a fan of the phrase ‘their tongues battled for dominance’, but it’s the best way to describe it. Ricky feels himself let out a horribly embarrassing whimper when Gyuvin reaches down to squeeze his ass, the two of them unconsciously grinding against each other.
It’s never been so desperate before. There’s spit sliding down their chins because the kiss has gotten too wet and messy, turning sloppy in their shared enthusiasm. As they kiss, Ricky slides his hand down Gyuvin’s chest, downwards till he’s feeling his hardness through his trousers.
Gyuvin lets out a moan, hips bucking against Ricky’s thighs.
“Just keep lying there,” Ricky says, then breaks away and gets off the bed.
“Whuh?” Gyuvin says. He looks just as wrecked as Ricky feels, eyes unfocused and hazy. His belt buckle clinks as Ricky undoes it. He doesn’t bother tugging Gyuvin’s trousers down and simply pulls down the elastic band of his underwear to free his dick. Which is nineteen centimetres as Gyuvin had described, and fully erect. “Ricky, what-”
Ricky’s already got his lips around Gyuvin’s co*ck, licking a circle around the head. It’s wide and he can tell it’s gonna make his jaw ache if he keeps going. He pulls off to will saliva to gather in his mouth and spits into his hand, trying to get everything wetter. Better slide.
Deepthroating is not his greatest skill. His mouth is small and he can barely get a few inches of Gyuvin in his mouth before he starts wanting to choke. Luckily he’s only wearing a casual shirt that he doesn’t mind getting messy for baking, because the collar feels wet. All that spit sliding down his chin.
But Ricky has hands and what he can’t reach, he strokes.
Gyuvin’s producing quite the symphony of noise as Ricky gets into it, writhing on the bed and f*cking into Ricky’s mouth erratically, as if he has no control over himself.
“Rik, f*ck, what the hell,” Gyuvin says, then lapses back into a series of moans and grunts. Giving feels like receiving right now. Every sound from Gyuvin has Ricky so incredibly turned on that he feels like he could maybe just come untouched in his pants right now.
“Mm,” Ricky mumbles. He’s trying not to let Gyuvin’s massive dick slip out his mouth. He’s sucked quite a few dicks in his time, but it’d never been so gratifying for him as it is now. He tries to take more in and feels the tip bump against the back of his throat, then Ricky tries his best not to gag.
“God!” Gyuvin whines and then Ricky feels hands in his hair, tugging lightly. He isn’t sure if Gyuvin is trying to pull him on or off his dick. “Ricky, I’m gonna-soon-if you don’t-”
In response, Ricky only hollows his cheeks further to increase the pressure. Gyuvin lets out a cry of desperation and his hips judder. The taste in Ricky’s mouth gets incredibly bitter and he tries not to choke on the absolute flood of come sprays down the back of his throat.
Ricky’s kneeling at the foot of the bed, cross-eyed in his concentration to not let any come dribble onto the collar of his shirt, while Gyuvin is splayed out like a giant starfish, looking like he’s just been hit on the head with his own baseball bat.
He pulls off, trying his best not to spill anything on his clothes. While he's okay with flour or sugar getting on it, allowing come to stain it is going too far. In his focus, Ricky fails to realise he is basically gargling a mouthful of come and coughs.
It’s hideous. It starts to dribble down his chin in white rivulets.
By this time, Gyuvin’s recovered enough from his knockout org*sm to sit up and stare at him. His hair is immaculately tousled, despite no one having touched it. Maybe Gyuvin was running his own hands through his hair because of Ricky’s mind-blowing oral prowess.
“Why-why aren’t you spitting it out?” Gyuvin croaks, cheeks rosy. His limp dick twitches feebly. “Do you want a tissue or something?”
As if glugging Chinese herbal medicine, Ricky instead swallows heartily then wipes his lips.
“Tissue,” he says, stretching out a hand.
“Sweet Jesus,” Gyuvin replies and hands one over. “We really should talk but like…do you want me to take care of that?”
He gestures at Ricky’s crotch. Ricky had almost forgotten about himself too. He considers it briefly.
“Sure,” Ricky says and unbuckles his trousers, sliding them gracefully down his thighs. “Have at it.” Then he flops backwards onto the bed.
“That’s such an unsexy thing to say,” Gyuvin mutters.
“Yeah but you find me sexy, don’t you?” Ricky jabs back. “Or will we be talking about that later?”
“Later,” Gyuvin says heavily and continues to slide Ricky’s trousers completely off.
“You don’t need to pull them all the way down.” Ricky points out.
“I, um, wanted to try something,” Gyuvin said. “Cos you did too. Earlier.”
“You don’t have to blow me,” Ricky says, although he’s positively drooling at the idea. “Like, you can just use your hands.”
“Well, I was thinking…never mind,” Gyuvin’s face flames and he decides it’s better to get to it, as Ricky had said, and instead of normally sticking his hand down Ricky’s pants as usual when they’re having a quickie, he pulls them down too, leaving Ricky’s bottom half completely naked.
It’s starting to feel a lot more gay, and a lot less best-friend brojob. Ricky keeps it to himself though, in case Gyuvin suddenly realises this too and freaks out, or worse, runs away. Is this not pretty close to sex?
Ricky’s already pretty wet and Gyuvin’s hand slides easily up and down his length. This is just the usual. Ricky’s familiar with it but now he’s so much more aware of those squelchy feelings in his chest, it feels way more intense. It’s much harder to stay quiet and keep those exhales from becoming louder moans.
Then Gyuvin’s other hand joins the party, trailing down to his balls, playing with them. That’s new. They’re usually pretty neglected.
“Upping your game?” Ricky says, opening one eye to look at Gyuvin. Gyuvin’s biting down on his bottom lip, looking very focused. He’s also getting hard again.
Then Gyuvin’s hand trails even further downwards, skating over Ricky’s perineum, to press a single dry finger against Ricky’s asshole. All of Ricky’s nerves burst into flames.
He had not at all been prepared for that and startles so much that his dick slides out from Gyuvin’s hands.
“Is-is that OK?” Gyuvin asks, now starting to look mortified. “I dunno, I just thought you might like it…but, um, never mind.”
“Gyuvin, it’s fine,” Ricky says, also feeling himself turn scarlet. They probably look like two boiled lobsters. “You can try.”
GAY SEX!?
Ahem. Does this mean, that Gyuvin would potentially be open to gay sex with Ricky? This seems worlds away from his earlier declaration of alleged straightness. Or is Gyuvin just falling into straight-man logic of it’s not gay if he doesn’t bottom?
The tip of Gyuvin’s saliva-soaked finger enters him and Ricky stops thinking about it. And about anything in general.
If you told him that Gyuvin would have a finger up his ass two months ago, Ricky would have laughed. And if you had told Ricky he would be immensely enjoying it, then Ricky would have punched someone.
Gyuvin’s obviously inexperienced in the realm of fingering guys, but his fingers are long enough that they brush against Ricky’s prostate easily – it’s not that hard to find, honestly and then it’s all uphill from there.
With the added sensation of Gyuvin’s two fingers up his butt, Ricky can’t shut up at all. He wails like a dying cat. His body is overwhelmed with the sensation.
“Gyuvin,” Ricky pants, ignoring the way his back is starting to arch off the bed. God, can Gyuvni tell he’s coming off as too enthusiastic? “Gyuvin!”
“Yeah, you close?” Gyuvin murmurs. Ricky can only describe the look in his eyes as entranced. “You gonna come for me, baby?”
Huh!?
Ricky is so flabbergasted that his mind lags well behind his body. He comes so hard that his eyes roll back briefly and his vision goes all fuzzy. All the while, he’s still trying to process what Gyuvin just said.
The aftershocks leave Ricky feeling like a soft drink, with carbonated bubbles tingling throughout his body.
Gyuvin lies down beside him and Ricky automatically connects their lips again, despite the fact the inside of his mouth still tastes like Gyuvin’s come.
Gyuvin kisses him back without hesitation this time, pressing his body against Ricky’s, till they’re as packed as sardines in a can. It’s less frantic now the sexual energy has faded.
When Ricky opens his eyes to stare into Gyuvin’s, all he can see is panic reflected back at him.
Ah. How exactly do they ‘bro’ their way out of this one? If Gyuvin isn’t prepared to accept whatever the hell this is, and if he doesn’t have feelings for Ricky – he doesn’t think so, then this friendship might as well be f*cked. And Ricky can’t let that happen. He’ll take this weird in-between over him and Gyuvin never talking.
“Ricky,” Gyuvin starts but is cut off by Ricky’s thumb pushing down on his lips. He is effectively silenced.
“I’m tired, do you want to take a nap?”
“Ricky, you said we’d talk.”
“Later,” Ricky says and grabs Gyuvin from behind. “Wanna sleep.”
“OK, sure,” Gyuvin says with a sigh, letting Ricky become the big spoon. “That was fun.”
“I liked it,” Ricky agrees, feeling his eyelids droop. “We’ll have even better chemistry for the next round.”
“Huh?”
“For the next round of the competition?”
“Oh yeah,” For some reason Gyuvin sounds crestfallen. “Yeah, good practice.”
They do not talk about it after they wake up. But for Ricky, this event lands someone on his top ten most embarrassing moments, because despite how cool and suave he is, Ricky is a dude. He’s still pretty cringe and embarrassing, because he’s just some guy. He sometimes say ‘skrr’ unironically.
But dragging Gyuvin all the way home just because Ricky wanted to have his co*ck in his mouth is some level of thirsty desperation he hadn’t even known he had possessed. He also didn’t know that Gyuvin would be into fingering him, but that’s a can of worms he’ll open later.
Well, after the nap, it’s actually Gunwook that wakes them. There’s a series of knocks on the door that jolt Ricky out of sleep, but he’s still not fully conscious. The knocking intensifies into outright banging.
“Dude, I think the door might break,” says a chipper voice that sounds eerily like Seok Matthew.
“They aren’t picking up their phones!” Gunwook says, sounding muffled from behind the door. “I just wanna check that they’re OK.”
“Maybe they’re f*cking.”
“I don’t think so,” Gunwook says slowly. “I don’t know if they’re at that stage yet.”
“Have you seen the way they look at each other?”
“They’re both very stupid, okay?” Gunwook replies and that’s when the conversation officially stops making any sense to Ricky. What does him being stupid have to do with it?
There’s a scrape and the click of a lock – Ricky now knows he needs to get a deadbolt fitted into his room because Gunwook can apparently pick locks, then the door swings open.
The shriek from Gunwook is what helps Ricky realise that he is naked below the belt. Gyuvin too.
“Where’s the fire?” Gyuvin yells, sitting bolt upright in bed all of a sudden. He jumps to his feet, looking around in a rush, till he realises that he too is naked down below and had been running around like a headless chicken, dick swinging like a freaking pendulum. “The f*ck?”
“Looks like they had sex to me,” Matthew retorts, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow at Gyuvin. His eyes rove over the bird nests that are their hair, the rumpled bedspread on Gyuvin’s bed and their state of undress. “You should pay up.”
“We didn’t even have a bet going?”
“We didn’t have sex!” Gyuvin shouts, diving back into bed and covering both of them up. “This isn’t what it looks like!”
“Why are you getting all shy now?” Matthew smirks. “Taerae and Jiwoong already told me how you left their house just to bone.”
“We didn’t!" Gyuvin howls, although at this point he should really give up on this lost cause.
“Why are you embarrassed?” Matthew continues to probe. “You’re literally dating each other. People who date each other commonly have sex.”
“Stop saying sex!” Gyuvin shouts, putting his hands over his ears.
Gunwook is unable to resist this chance to wind up Gyuvin and joins in.
“Intercourse!”
“Coitus!”
“Rumpy-pumpy!”
“Dumpster diving!”
“Browning the sausage!”
“Wetting the willy!”
“I’m just going to stop you right there,” Ricky interrupts, not at all sorry. Poor Gyuvin looks scarred for life. “Yes, we’re a couple. We f*ck. Gyuvin is still a prude, that’s all. We are alive.”
Then Ricky lies back down on the bed, eyes closed. He wishes he could go back to sleep. In his dream, Gyuvin hadn’t just stopped at fingers.
The next round is pretty uneventful, mostly because unlike the couple yoga challenge, there was absolutely no way that Ricky or Gyuvin could have failed this one.
It was pretty simple, really. Couple makeover. Each partner creates a new look for the others and votes decide which twelve couples make it to the next round. They’re both fashionistas, so Gunwook doesn’t even bother with any advice and simply claps them on back.
Obviously, they take first place.
From then on, round five narrows twelve couples to eight, through a spot-the difference challenge. The other couples get to change five things about one partner and the other partner has to spot the differences.
Ricky was also confident about this one, because he pays close attention to the details of his appearance and so does Gyuvin. Ricky’s chosen to be the one to spot the differences between him and Gyuvin. He marches to the booth with a stool inside and sits down on the hard, wooden thing. The outside is draped in a thick, black fabric that doesn’t let light through. The contestants have five minutes to decide what to change about Gyuvin.
Zhang Hao and Hanbin had already taken their turn and Zhang Hao had found all five differences in under a minute. He was so good that it that Ricky suspected he was cheating, but with Zhang Hao it was possible that he was just that smart.
“And…time is up! Ricky, please identify any differences that you notice about Gyuvin!” Seungkwan announces Ricky adjusts the collar of his shirt then emerges from the booth, to scan Gyuvin up and down.
“One of his socks are slightly lower than before,” Ricky says, then squints. “He’s got one more button done up on his shirt.”
Just to add to the fun of the show, he throws in a witty comment.
“He also looks dumber than five minutes ago.”
“Hey!”
Yeri and Seungkwan accept this as a joke and gesture for him to continue. If too many people identify all five differences, then they’ll be ranked in how fast those differences were found, so Ricky doesn’t have much time to spare.
“Someone’s retied his shoelaces,” Ricky decides, with a note of uncertainty. “Gyuvin always double-knots his.”
There’s a surprised murmur from the audience who must have not been expecting him to get it.
That’s only three differences though. There’s still two more to go. Ricky looks Gyuvin up and down several times, then walks over to spin him around. He leans in extra close to look at his face in detail.
“Someone’s drawn a fake mole on him with eyeliner or something.”
“Very good!” Yeri cheers. “Ricky only has one more difference left to find before he completes this challenge.”
Gyuvin looks like he’s bursting to say something, but keeps it zipped for the sake of the competition. It shouldn’t be too hard. Gyuvin and Ricky had carefully memorised what the other was wearing for the sake of today’s round and had practiced several times. They’d dressed plainly, so not too much could be changed, such as one of Ricky’s earrings being removed.
“I think it might be his hair,” Ricky says, but he’s not sure. “Or something else on his clothes.”
After another moment of observation, he frowns. No, they still look the same. The sound of the timer ticks behind him, and the pressure mounts. Ricky knows that he’s already slower than Zhang Hao’s time right now. But it’s more important to find all five differences as that’s compulsory for them to pass this round.
“They’ve changed his…hands?” Ricky tries, hoping he isn’t falling into a trap. “I swear Gyuvin usually has his right hand clasped over his left, but now his left hand is over his right.”
“Ding ding ding! One hundred points!” Seungkwan shouts and the crowd burst into applause. “A very impressive performance by Shen Ricky!”
And with that, they’re already in the quarterfinals, the number of final couples having been whittled down to eight. There’s him and Gyuvin, Zhang Hao and Hanbin, Kun and Ten, Jimin and Minjeong, Yuqi and Seoyeon, Changbin and Hyunjin, Minho and Jisung and the token straight couple, Chan and Sana.
There ends up being another celebratory dinner with Zhang Hao and Hanbin afterwards, with the bonus addition of Matthew and Gunwook in a malatang place that Zhang Hao had picked. Luckily for Ricky, the hotpot is divided into two sections, one spicy and one with clear broth.
Gunwook had hugged both Gyuvin and Ricky upon learning that they had made it to the final eight, all three of them sporting evil triplet grins. The path to a free holiday grows ever closer.
Ricky wonders if Gunwook will ever tell them where all this information on the competition has been coming from. He’d said he’d only reveal his source if they won.
“To protect my inside source,” He’d said solemnly.
“Is this a triple date?” Zhang Hao asks, with a glint in his eye. “Gunwook and Matthew?”
Ricky and Gyuvin peer at them in interest too. For Gunwook’s sake (and because Ricky had been so preoccupied with his own issues), neither them have really pressed the issue of what’s going on between them tow, preferring to let him work it out himself.
But it has been sounding good. Matthew’s been coming more over and he disappears into Gunwook’s room, not emerging till hours later, looking thoroughly debauched, usually with multiple hickeys down his neck and chest. It often looks like he’d had a fight with a vacuum cleaner and the vacuum cleaner had came out victorious.
Then Matthew goes into the shower, and sometimes Ricky hears the door open and close from his room, suggesting Gunwook has also gone in. He would call it dating, but then him and Gyuvin seem like a couple, but are not actually dating.
“We’re official,” Gunwook confirms shyly, just as Matthew blurts out ‘hell yeah!’. They both freeze and stare at each other for a second, before raucous laughter erupts across the table.
“Finally, bro!” Gyuvin cries and pulls Gunwook in for a one-armed bro hug. “And you too, Matthew-hyung!”
“I knew it,” is what Ricky chooses to say. “Mostly because Taerae and Jiwoong seem like they have hearts in their eyes for each other and it’s been like that for weeks.”
The atmosphere instantly goes awry. Matthew and Gunwook both stiffen up. Gyuvin pokes Ricky in the butt from where they’re sitting together, at an angle where no one else will notice.
“What does that have to do with anything?” Hanbin says, all confused hamster face. “Also, what?”
“I knew,” Zhang Hao chimes in quietly. “That Taerae and Jiwoong were working things out.”
“Why doesn’t anyone ever tell me anything?” Hanbin mutters with a frown, but he doesn’t look mad. “This is just like Ddungjjungham all over again, hyung.”
There is currently a Ddungjungham sitting at the table with them, dressed in his own plastic yellow raincoat to protect him from any splatters of spicy malatang oil during their meal.
“Only because I caught them basically f*cking in the library,” Zhang Hao says with a stab of irritation. “Then was sworn, no, threatened into secrecy.”
He raises an eyebrow at Hanbin who accepts this explanation without any further complaint. To prolong the silence, a waiter then arrives and starts to put down plates of meat in front of them.
“They were doing what?” Gunwook shrieks, scandalised. Lamb slices, beef slices, pork slices, ribeye and sirloin. Ricky also spots some shrimp paste and fish balls. The hotpot is gonna be so good, he’s already drooling.
“That’s why I never mentioned it,” Zhang Hao says in a way that is both snappy and calm.
“I think we also have some squid coming,” Ricky chimes in and frantically starts to add vegetables to the clear broth. “Let’s start cooking.”
“No, you still haven’t explained,” Hanbin says in confusion. “What on earth do Taerae and Jiwoong – congrats to them, have to do with Gunwook and Matthew?”
“Nothing,” Ricky says and tries his big pouty gaze on Hanbin, the one with the shiny boba eyes. He’s aware Hanbin has a weak spot for him and Ricky never hesitates to take advantage of it. It’s catching up to him that he shouldn’t have said anything.
Gunwook had literally sworn them to secrecy about ever mentioning the three-way relationship between them. Yet Ricky had still blabbed and worst off all, he had done it in front of the person who he had promised to keep the secret for. He can’t even play it off or beg Zhang Hao to not tell anyone he knows too or something.
He needs Hanbin to drop it.
“C’mon hyung,” Ricky says, in a poor attempt at changing the subject. “The potato slices are really good. And the tofu.”
He tips both of these items into the sides of each hotpot base and they plop in with a splash.
“I think some oil just landed on Ddungjjungham,” Matthew points out acidly, giving Ricky and Gunwook a death glare. “Right on his face.”
Hanbin lets out a little scream that causes half the restaurant to turn in their direction. Zhang Hao begins to rustle in his bag.
“No, hyung!” Hanbin scowls, grabbing Zhang Hao’s hands. “I don’t want another damn version!”
Gunwook looks very sheepish. It seems like he wasn’t supposed to have told them either. But best friend privileges will aways prevail.
To their advantage and Matthew’s quick thinking – Ddungjjungham is actually safe and is now kitted with an umbrella, the devastating emotional impact of oil staining Ddjungjjungham is enough for Hanbin to forget what they were talking about and drop the subject.
When most of the hotpot has boiled away and they’re left fishing for overcooked morsels in the broth, too full to order any more, the conversation turns towards more adulty stuff, like their future and their careers. The atmosphere becomes sombre as they’re reminded that eventually they will all part and go their own way in the world.
“I’m thinking of doing a Masters after graduation,” Zhang Hao confesses, rubbing a hand over Hanbin’s knee. “Hanbinnie has a year of industry placement and this was we can stay together till he graduates too.”
“Yeah, but I know what Hao-hyung wants is to do that Masters in China,” Hanbin says with a frown. “He can easily get into really good universities there.”
“Baobei, you know that’s not what is most important.”
“I don’t want to hinder your career,” Hanbin insists. His eyes are big and sparkly but Ricky could also put it down to the spice of the mala hotpot. Everyone’s lips are glistening and oily, swollen from the amount of capsaicin in their food. Except Ricky, because he only ever ate out the plain broth.
“If that’s Hao-hyung wants to stay here, then he should,” shrugs Matthew. “I believe in him. He’ll be successful in whatever he does.”
“And,” Ricky chips in. “Career success isn’t everything. I’m sure Hao-hyung knows what his priorities are. You, and also Yujin. Doesn’t he have another year left till he graduates high school too?”
Hanbin slumps in his chair, looking slightly defeated. He clearly still feels like he’s holding Zhang Hao back from something great.
“But there’s also the money,” Hanbin says. “I don’t know if we can afford to rent here another year, even with both of us working. Yujinnie’s parents do contribute too but our stupid landlord is still raising the rate.”
“Um,” Zhang Hao says. “We do, actually.”
“Problem solved?” Gunwook says hopefully. “Hyung, I’m pretty sure you would do the same thing for Hao-hyung, don’t feel so burdened that he’d do the same for you. Maybe you should stop focusing on what could happen and just go with the flow.”
“Wait, but how?” Hanbin insists, turning to face Zhang Hao. “I have my dance lesson stuff and you have your violin gigs but that can’t possibly cover it all!”
Ricky bites down violently on his bottom lip to maintain a poker face. Ah, the anonymous benefactor who has secretly been adding bonuses to Zhang Hao’s performances. Good deeds won’t always bring good rewards but it sure as hell feels good when it pays off.
“Why do you look like you’re holding in a sh*t?” Gyuvin whispers into his ear. In response, Ricky kicks him in the shins underneath the table. To his credit, Gyuvin doesn’t make a sound, but his eyes water in pain.
“Then you two will graduate the same time as us if you stay on another year!” Gunwook says cheerfully. “Unless we do a Masters too…”
“Then Hao-hyung can just do a PhD,” Gyuvin jokes.
“Are you three still going to live together next year?” Zhang Hao asks curiously. “I mean, I know you’re all best friends, but now you and Gyuvin are a thing and Matthew and Gunwook are a thing, are you going to get your own places?”
Ah, the guilt of lying to your trusted older hyung and ge. Ricky, Gyuvin and Gunwook are left speechless. None of them had really thought about it and Ricky had just assumed they would be staying in the same flat for the next year, the three of them. Matthew coming into Gunwook’s life had been a totally unexpected factor.
But also, him and Gyuvin are still blatantly lying about being a couple yet dear, sweet, oblivious Hao-gege is asking Ricky whether they’re going to live together.
“We haven’t really thought about it,” Gyuvin speaks first, looking very surprised. “I just assumed things would be the same.”
“Yeah,” Matthew echoes. “I don’t think me and Gunwook have to live together, although that would be nice too.” He shrugs.
Realising the conversation is getting a little awkward, Hanbin hastily switches the topic to his upcoming dance showcase then the bill is paid and they go head off home. Zhang Hao and Hanbin take their leave, leaving the four of them.
About five minutes later, their paths diverge yet again.
“I’m going to stay at Matthew-hyung’s place for tonight,” Gunwook announces, and him and Matthew swiftly march away.
Four is suddenly two, and it’s just him and Gyuvin walking together. It was warm out earlier, but now the sun has just set, the night chill is creeping into the air. The streets are still lively and bustling but as they walk out of the throng of restaurants and bars towards their flat, everything ripples to a standstill. The only sounds present are the hum of the cicadas in the bushes.
There’s a sentimental feel to the evening and after the conversation about their futures, Ricky is starkly reminded that there’s only so many times him and Gyuvin will still walk this path home.
“Have you ever thought about what will happen after the contest?” Ricky musters up the courage to ask, fuelled by terrifying concept of change.
“After we win the contest, more like,” Gyuvin corrects, then seems to think about what Ricky is actually asking. “What do you mean?”
“Us,” Ricky says, looking straight ahead at the road. “Like, our dating thing. We can’t keep it going forever, surely. Zhang Hao and Hanbin-hyung literally think we’re going to move in with them. My mum thinks we’re going to get married. I’m starting to feel pretty bad lying to everyone about something so big.”
Gyuvin remains very silent throughout Ricky’s little speech.
“I haven’t really thought about it,” Gyuvin says quietly, and it comes out strained. “But, I mean, would it be so bad to live together, just you and me, especially if Matthew and Gunwook do stay together?”
Of course it wouldn’t because I have a crush on you, Ricky thinks.
“No, but you know that’s not the point,” Ricky says, feeling weary all of a sudden. Ever since he’s realised he’s down bad for Gyuvin, all their little brojobs have been doing a number on his vulnerable little heart. “We need to break up eventually. Stop doing everything.”
He won’t say it out loud, but Gyuvin should be well aware of what Ricky is referencing. Gyuvin can’t possible think things can carry on like this forever? Ricky will explode well before that. And they have to just, break up. How is Ricky meant to explain they’ve actually lied about being a couple to win a free holiday and were f*cking around, but no, they’re just bros?
“We need to break up?” Gyuvin says, like the thought has never occurred to him. “I mean, yeah, I suppose you’re right. Like you said, it can’t go on forever.”
Is Ricky simply delusional or is there a hint of sadness in Gyuvin’s voice?
“Why don’t we discuss what to do after we win the contest?” Gyuvin says. He’s stopped walking, so Ricky pauses alongside him. “I don’t want to think about change, it’s scary. Let’s just enjoy the present.”
Spoken like a true problem-avoider, but Ricky is very much onboard with it. He hadn’t wanted to ask Gyuvin about their arrangement and had broken his promise of leaving Gyuvin to speak about it. But if Gyuvin’s willing to let their relationship limbo between friendship and lovers for now, Ricky will take it.
He takes Gyuvin’s hand in his, now an automatic reflex. They’re so accustomed to holding hands everywhere they go.
“I don’t see anyone on the road though,” Gyuvin says.
“Method acting,” Ricky assures him, and tries to quell the flutter of his heart.
